Hahaha I just laughed when I saw this. Sorry pakner, I have to hahahha..

Drei is the one holding the bass guitar. Emphasis on the word hold. hahaha!

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Today, we learned that we actually have an existing library at school. Yey!!

Whilst there, I remembered my best friend telling me about a book called “How to be really really really happy”. I really really really wanted to read that book, in all hopes that it would save me from the post-break-up sadness. After 20-ish minutes of searching, I finally found the stupid book. It was tiny and barely noticeable and in the wrong section. Pfft. Good thing I was patient. Haha.

Reading the book made me realize many things. Though I haven’t even reached half the book yet, I realized that I wanted to do a lot of things in my life all at the same time. Pfft. Being broken hearted can be cured with hopes and dreams – that’s what I learned.

Janyn’s Current Goals:

1. Learn how to cook – ever since I can remember, I really wanted to cook. I guess cooking just didn’t want me. Haha. I will learn. I WILL. Grrr. Then afterwards, I’ll put up my own café and serve all my creations there. Weeee.
2. Take a photography class – take lots and lots of beautiful pictures, blow them up and hang them on my bedroom wall. A few years after, on every corner of my own house.
3. Learn how to play the piano – damn Ne-yo and his musical genius. I loved his rendition of “take a bow” so much that I NEED to learn how to play it – it and it alone will make me happy. After learning such, I’ll quit learning how to play. Haha. Grrr.

Only three goals for now, I might get all depressed and angry and may need an attitude adjustment if I listed a few hundred more and not reach them. Haha.

That’s it for now. I actually typed a lot more boring stuff. If you want to read them, click here and fall asleep.

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Inspiration expiration

As they say, when uninspired, go do/see/hear something that will tickle your senses. But what, how, when? Hmmmm…

Weird. I don’t know why I’ve been so uninspired for the past six.. nine.. fourteen.. bla bla months. I don’t really care, I lost count already.

Actually, here’s a secret… I’ve been intentionally keeping myself busy. Shock shock shock. Yeah, besides all the ranting and raving about being exhausted and restless, I’m actually secretly enjoying being tired. Odd enough, I think this is my way of letting go of problems *a.k.a PAIN* – there are no actual outlets; what’s the use of such things if I can’t even think about them, right? My physical state comes first before the emotional one. So yeah. Go me! Great solution… not.

So maybe that’s why I’m so empty @_@ nothing to write about. I’ve been to a lot of places, met new people, saw, knew, heard and tried new things, but I just can’t seem to write about those. How can I make a reader feel happy? I can’t. I can only make them empathize for my inner sadness – that’s my specialty; emo, pero specialty ko un eh. So what? Haha. There are lots of pictures, if that’s the way to summarize what I’ve been up to, but really, they all say only one thing – I’m forcing myself to be happy. THINK HAPPY. Happy, happy thoughts. YES, I am happy. I AM. *smile*

Entering the social scene

I’ve never really been this socialized since the dawn of time. Never have I imagined turning out this way. When I was younger, most of the people in my class didn’t even know me. Aloof; I was one of those invisible people. I didn’t hate it though. Nobody cared, nor did I about them – aaaah, those were the days.

Now, in every place, every turn of my head, and every glance at my phone – there they are; temptations. Invitations left and right, events here and there. Where is the good old JANYN? Where is daddy’s little girl? Where’s the anti-social hater? I miss her.

POPULARITY – something that’s so crucial for some people. I just don’t see what the hell the point is.

A couple of friends of mine once said to me, “we are building an empire, our networking in and out of school is now priceless. We are known all throughout the school!” – Though it sounded very flattering and though I kind of felt my head grow an inch, I didn’t see how it would lead to this. I now resent the empire building thought.. ISSUES need not to be mentioned here, especially if I’m not involved in that issue. Moving on…

Partying every weekend with different people – its great but I miss the old ones whom I used to hang out with all the time. I’m guessing they’re missing me too. But too many people are missing me all at the same time. Sana I can cut myself in pieces, like pizza, so that I could be with everyone all at the same time. Haiii.. how I wish.. T_T

Study hard, party harder.

I’m getting no sleep from both. My calendar is always filled with events and stuff that I can’t even hang out at my room alone and not think about stuff. Haaaiii. I miss the serenity and being able to think clearly and reflect upon things. After school, I study and go to sleep. On the weekends, I go out. There’s really no more leisure time or bonding time for me and my family. My world now revolves around my friends and my patients. How pathetic.

Good thing is, now, I’m getting to spend time with my family and myself. Haha. Weird? Well, ganun eh. Hahaha.

Love?

I’ve come to think that I’m a better FRIEND than a LOVER. Hohoho. I don’t know if it’s true or anything, I just think so. It’s just a theory, a hypothesis, a premise – nothing to worry about.

Last night, I told my boyfriend I love him. Nothing extraordinary for some people, but you see, I just absolutely DON’T do that. Its out of character, in fact, it’s a milestone for me – a turning point, a spontaneous act of affection, a shocking spontaneous act of affection. Arg. I’m becoming one of those romantic saps. Errrr. Hate this. But my bestfriends said that they’re so proud of me ‘cuz I’m maturing. Hmmm.. I really hope so…..

Oh! And last night, we saw a falling star. I made a wish. go guess what my wish was…..

Summary

There are a lot more things I want to say, but I’m running out of time… so, I’ll be writing again, hopefully, I’ll reach my goal – I’ll be getting back to the old me; simple, sweet, not that complicated; one step at a time.

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i love you.

- 17

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Uber busy. Haven’t have had the time to update this thingy.

Retdems, exams, case studies, duties, graveyard shift, Laguna - Makati, vice-versa, research work, homeworks, journals, losing my wallet, losing my license, losing sanity.

Yeah. I’m a busy busy busy girl.

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